


i actually wrote this in the ocean

by tmisos



Series: shitposts [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: and a minivan, im sorry, in the 3rd chapter, theres a turtle, this is awful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 21:51:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11677791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmisos/pseuds/tmisos
Summary: im at the beach and my cousin and i like to create shitposts while we chill in the ocean





	1. Chapter 1

once upon a time there was 2 dudebros named dudebro number-one and dudebro number-two.

these dudebros were bored and high out of their mind on a hot ass summers day so they decided to go to the beach.

"i'll drive" suggested dudebro number-one. 

"you have no idea how to drive, dumbass." reminded dudebro number-two. 

"i can drive in spirit." dudebro number-one said. 

"that made no sense."

the decided to ride to the beach on unicycles. all they brought were towels. they forgot they were high. when they got to the beach they immediately got the munchies. 

"lets go to the pier and buy some food" suggested dudebro number-one. "we didn't bring any money" said dudebro number-two. 

they created an ingenious plan to steal from the dumbass hotdog place that had literally 0 security. 

they literally walked in the back door and stole 9 hotdogs. it was that easy. no one cared. they wanted slushies too. the pier had awful security i guess. 

they walked up to the slushie place and said "2 slushies please." the girl at the counter said "7-something dollars."

"oh we don't have any money," dudebro number-two said "also, that's, like, a _shitton_ of money."

"lol damn u rite." the girl said. "I QUIT" she yelled. they stole the slushies. as they ran away, she said "my name's dudebro number-three." and the other two dudebros looked at each other in shock. they were Shook™.

their names were so close wtf. "wow our names are also dudebro. but our last names are number-one and number-two."

"hella rad" dudebro number-three said.

part 2 coming in a jiff lol (apparently this is the 1960s wtf)


	2. dudebro number-one is a dumbass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dudebro number-one gets eaten by a shark

they got back to their towels and ate their hotdogs, which they conveniently were able to split into 3 with dudebro number-three and also drank the slushies.

suddenly people were screaming and running outta the water and dudebro number-two was like "wtf" and dudebro number-one was like "shit, bro, there's a shark in the water" as he got closer.

dudebro number-two was like "one!! the fuck r u doing, bro, that's a shark."

then dudebro number-one was like "but what if he's friendly like in shark tales" and dudebro number-two was like "u dum fuck, you've never even seen shark tales"

but dudebro number-one went into the water anyways and got eaten and dudebro number-three rode home on ones unicycle and replaced dudebro number-one literally forever.

the end.


	3. a turtle vores a minivan in this one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my cousin wrote this

uhhhhhhhhh

 

 

 

once there was a turtle who vored an entire minivan and then fuckin' died

**Author's Note:**

> so uh this is what you get when i feel like you guys should have something to read and i dont have time to write sorry lol

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [dude, bro](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11845728) by [sockiesock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sockiesock/pseuds/sockiesock)




End file.
